LISTEN I HAVE MY RIGHTS!!!!

Participating in a opensource community has lot of advantages, you get to know really cool people. You learn lot of new things… but also strange anecdotes happen.

Some time ago I was talking with Will, and we both remembered one of the most funniest (now) things ever happened in #kopete irc channel. We laughed a lot, until Will told me. “I still have those logs somewhere”. I said “Really! I think it is time to blog them.

April 3, probably 2003 or 2004. I was in Chile by then. It was sleeping time for Europa. In the channel you can see Sean Egan, GAIM’s lead developer, and myself. Until….

The following takes place between 5 am and 6 am… Events ocur in real time.

--> Lazlo ([HOST REMOVED].edu) has joined #kopete
<Lazlo> uhh, hi all heh. I have a strange request. is that Sean Egan
from New York (sorry kinda new to irc)
<SeanEgan> hm?
<Lazlo> hello ?
<Lazlo> oh heh
<SeanEgan> Um, yeah. I'm from New York
<Lazlo> uh, hi -- I searched on google and it said a 'Sean Egan' was in
this chat room. Do you know where Valley STream is?
<SeanEgan> Yeah, that's where I live on Long Island
<Lazlo> ehh, what's the zip code heh (sorry for these odd questions I have
to protect an identity here, kinda iffy)?
<SeanEgan> hehe, um, it's [ZIP CODE REMOVED]. Who are you?
<Lazlo> uh, Are you at [ADDRESS REMOVED]?
<SeanEgan> ok. Who are you?
<Lazlo> can anyone here tell me if this is really Sean Egan?
<SeanEgan> they're probably all asleep. This is a very European channel.
<SeanEgan> being KDE and all ;)
<Lazlo> uhh, hi all heh. I have a strange request. is that Sean Egan
from New York (sorry
<Lazlo> um, what's KDE? I don't use computers mujch
<SeanEgan> It's alright. Why do you know m address?
<Lazlo> whatever man -- look, are you really Sean Egan?
<SeanEgan> Yeah.
<Lazlo> um, I think I may have found your wallet near a truck stop
<SeanEgan> really?!
<SeanEgan> haha!
<SeanEgan> I lost my wallet yesterda
<SeanEgan> y
<Lazlo> phew! hah, man i wasn't sure if I could find you heh
<SeanEgan> well, you do have my address ;)
<Lazlo> heh, true but i'm in west virginia. you're credit card is [CREDIT
CARD REMOVED], right?
<SeanEgan> ,,,
<SeanEgan> Um, I'll take your word for it...
<Lazlo> ?? heh, maybe I should buy some stuff haha
* SeanEgan hopes you're joking.
<SeanEgan> Ok. The address you have is my Long Island address, but I'm up
at school in Binghamton
<Lazlo> um, i can rent a car with the credit card and drive to drop it off
if you like?
<Lazlo> by the way, who's the hot girl in the picture ;-) heh
<SeanEgan> Dude, that's my sister.
<SeanEgan> Listen, just mail the wallet to me. I'll PM you my address.
<Lazlo> man just calm down -- i'm trying to help here i didn't know
<Lazlo> what about the cost to send it?!?
<SeanEgan> no, it's alright. I'm going to PM you my address, and you can
mail it to me?
<SeanEgan> Um... I don't know. Maybe $2?
<Lazlo> $2?!? i think more than that man
<SeanEgan> If you want, I should have some cash in there, you can pay with
my money.
<SeanEgan> But I need my id and my credit cards and stuff.
<Lazlo> look i took the time to search your name and stuff
<SeanEgan> yeah, pay for postage with my own money, I don't care
<Lazlo> i'm not even talking about postage man -- I'll use the card to buy
stuff I think is right, seriously. you owe me big time
<SeanEgan> you want a reward?
<SeanEgan> How much cash do I have in there? $30?
<duncanmv> oh, Americans
<Lazlo> whatever dude -- you don't get it! How much do you have on your
card, can i buy some stuff?
<SeanEgan> No, you can't
<SeanEgan> Are you serious?
* duncanmv doesn't find it a funny joke
<Lazlo> why wouldl i joke?! look, i'll just buy some stuff or you won't
get your wallet
<SeanEgan> Lazlo: I just called my bank and they've cancelled the credit
card.
<SeanEgan> I'll let you keep all the cash I have in there as a reward, but
if you would please return it to the address I PMed you, I would really
appreciate it.
<Lazlo> ??!?!?
<SeanEgan> And so would the Occidental University Police, if you catch my
drift.
<Lazlo> now you WONT GET YOUR FRIGGIN WALLET
<Lazlo> uHGHGHG
<duncanmv> ok, just call his college tomorrow
<duncanmv> and tell them [NAME REMOVED] has your wallet
<duncanmv> tell them the ip and time log
<duncanmv> and tell them you offered him even a reward
<SeanEgan> Lazlo: Let's not make a big deal out of it. Keep the cash, and
mail the wallet to that address, ok?
<Lazlo> what the f*XCKC wahta kinda platce is this??!? stay out of
this duncanmv. dude don't you DARE TELL MY schools
<Lazlo> SeanEgan: NO! crap there's only $24 dollars in the WALLET man
<SeanEgan> Listen, that wallet has my drivers license in it, it has my
social security card, it has my school id... I really need that.
<SeanEgan> You can keep the $24, just mail it back to me, please.
<SeanEgan> What do you think is a fair reward?
<Lazlo> F*CUI@ NO!!! look, i could have sold your stuff already but i
didn't. social security cards are expensive
<SeanEgan> Listen, how much do you want from me?
<duncanmv> I could have sold your social security card? wtf? gansters?
<Lazlo> LISTEN! I'm talking a few hundred dude -- and some stuff.
<Lazlo> all i know is the people on the internet always look for this
identify stuff
<SeanEgan> It's not worth a few hundred to me. I can just get the ID
reissued for a hundred.
<SeanEgan> at most
<SeanEgan> OK, and you just told me that you're selling my social security
number, so I can get new one and make sure it's worthless.
<SeanEgan> I'll offer you $100.
<SeanEgan> final offer.
<Lazlo> F@#@! FINE dude, whatever -- how will you send me the money then?
i definitely WONT send it until the money gets here. i'm no fool buddy
<duncanmv> ok
<duncanmv> I logged into [UNIVERSITY NAME REMOVED], and got all his data
<duncanmv> ;)
<SeanEgan> My ATM pin is [PIN REMOVED]. That's the Citibank one. If you
withdraw anymore than $100, I report you to the police and they'll have your
picture and everything and you'll go to jail, do you understand me?
<SeanEgan> Also, I'm changing the PIN FIRST THING tomorrow, so you have to
act on that quick.
<SeanEgan> deal?
<Lazlo> This is some world of shit dudes! i try to help and all you do is
threaten police call!!@@ LISTEN I HAVE MY RIGHTS
<SeanEgan> Lazlo: You have no clue how deep trouble you're in right now.
<duncanmv> your rights is stealing Sean's money? come on
<SeanEgan> 10 people have this conversation logged; we have all your
personal data; you really are in no position to talk about your rights.
<Lazlo> WHATEVER This is the LAST time i try to help some looser out who
can't keep his wallet. Where's your gratitude man?
<SeanEgan> Ok. Take $100. Send me my wallet.
<Lazlo> f&%@ fine. you're lucky.
<-- Lazlo has quit ("leaving")

I never knew what happened with Sean’s wallet. So today I emailed him and asked. This is the happy end of the story:

Ha! I didn’t think anyone remembered that! That guy was nuts. I was able to reason with him, though. It turned out I was able to promise him a feature request in Gaim and that sufficed for him. He sent the wallet back, and I never found any weird fraudulent charges on any of my cards ;)

My guess is that he wasn’t any older than 16.

Just remember, every time a Gaim user sends someone a file by dragging it into a conversation window, it’s because I lost my wallet.

-s.